Will Ya Shut Up Already

I had something happen to me recently that has never happened before. I abandoned a book (one that I was reading, not writing) after laboring with it for 120+ pages.

I hate giving up on books or movies. I usually will give it a once through just in case it redeems itself in the end. If it doesn't, then I don't read or watch it again. Besides, bad writing can sometimes teach you as much, if not more, than good writing. But this book, which I will leave anonymous, was just too much.

Maybe it's because I'm getting older and I just don't have as much time to waste. I'm not sure. It wasn't that the author was a bad writer. He was very good. The book was a New York Times bestseller (not that that means a great deal). What really sealed it for me was the chunk of back story that lasted for over 70 pages. I don't mind a bit of back story . . . a lot of back story if it carries the story along . . . but man, come on. Stephen King talks in his book On Writing about authors that fall in love with their own writing and ramble on just to see the words on paper. It's the equivalent of a blabber mouth who talks just to hear his own voice. There are few things more annoying.

So, away with it.

My wife and I are voracious readers (well, we were before children). I'm sure most of you are, too. You know the score. You buy books with the fervor of a habitual hoarder, and hope someday you'll be able to sit and read them all. So, my bookshelf is never void of a book to read.

I found one I got for Christmas last year: a collection of short stories by Clive Barker. Man oh man is it good. But my writing feels so remedial next to such a giant. My vocabulary is just too humble.

But that's a different post.

Writing wise, I haven't yet started my next novel due to a short story that popped up out of nowhere and derailed me. I hope to have it out of my brain soon so that I can start the long journey that is the novel.

50th Post

As the title reads, this is my 50th post. It's a tad pathetic considering I've had this blog for just over three years now. In the beginning I didn't post all that regular (if you look close you'll see a blank span of about seven or eight months) and I'm still not quite where I'd like to be. This year I tried my best to get at least one post in a month, two if I was really feeling it. In 2010 my goal is to get in a post a week. We'll see how that works out.

I have enjoyed all the new friends I've met through this blog, and I've learned a lot by following along with your adventures. It's been a tough year job-wise. I don't think I could have made it without sneaking a looky-loo at your blogs while pretending that I'm working.

Things are looking up. I see a light up ahead. My wife's schedule is starting to steady and solidify, which means I should be able to settle into a better pattern of writing. That makes for a less grumpy Gabe.

Now onto the writing news.

I know it is never a good idea to post about your agent rejections -- why promote how bad your are doing? -- but I'm not sure what the etiquette is for small victories. Who knows what agents and editors are lurking around your blog posts, using your little electronic journal as a judge of character? But what the heck. If it's bad form, please forgive.

Another agent has requested a partial of my novel GUARDING THE HEALER. I'm doing a little dance for no other reason than this lets me know I'm still on the right track. As you well know, it's a slippery slope and getting lost is an easy thing.

I was going to post about walking away from books too awful to read, but I think I'll save that for the next post.

If I don't talk to you before have a Happy Halloween.

The Clutter King

I was roaming the blog of the powerful and terrifying agent, Janet Reid, the other day and she had a link to another blog (some days it's like running through a maze) Murderati and a wonderful entry about positive and negative spaces.

It touched me on many levels; not just as a writer. I have to admit I live a very cluttered life. I don't want to. It's no ones fault. That's just how it is. I just haven't quite figured out how to move all the junk out of the way. I'm working on it, though.

I don't have much to report. I'm still harassing agents; still adding to editor's slush piles. I'm getting close to starting another novel. I've been putting it off a bit -- trying to de-clutter, and all that -- but I can feel it worming its way to the surface. I'm having trouble writing any new shorts because this new novel won't get out of the way.

I'm still in the planning stage right now. I'll let you know when I hit it full strength.

Well, I better go. Storms are rolling in and I want to finish before the power goes out.

Cutting it Close

I made it. It was a bit too close, but I did it.

I just finished up a tiny little story titled A TRIP TO THE BLUE HOLE. I received an invitation several months back to submit a story to CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE URBAN KIND and the deadline was today.

Those of you that actually read the tripe I shovel on this blog know that life has been kicking my butt of late and my writing has suffered. I really thought I was going to blow this one, but I hunkered down and forced that story out of my brain. And I still have about twenty minutes to spare.

Now, whether it gets accepted remains to be seen. That is always the hope. But the mission here was keeping the deadline. I know that I'll never be a professional writer unless I start acting like one and real writers have deadlines.

I had a lot of trouble with this story. I'm not sure if it was the length (it weighed in at just under 1,400 words . . . I'm terrible at shorts) or if it's just the work stress, but I'm so glad to have this one out and gone.

And now on to my next adventure.

The New Toy

I'm writing this post from our new laptop. Life has been rough of late and my writing has suffered more than anything (that's what you get for not making me any money, stupid writing).

Sorry. I'm better now.

Technically, this laptop is for my wife so that she can consolidate her three (yes, I said three) part time jobs, and have more family time in the evening. But I have no problem usurping it for my own devious purposes . . . i.e. blogging, net surfing, and maybe if I can drag my lazy butt out of bed after the kids go down, some actual writing.

I've been very bad. I have a story that's due on September 1st and I've yet to write a single word. I've got a basic grasp on what I want to scribble down, but with little time to plan, I'm going to have to rely on my warped subconscious to fill in the blanks. I'll let you know how successful I am.

Multiple Personalities

Nothing too important is going on in my world these days. Mercedes sent me a note, in the comments of my last post, checking up on me. I was very touched that someone I had never officially met was waiting to "hear" from me.

What can I say? She's a doll.

Anyway, I've been adjusting to 10 hour days; trying to mow my grass before it reaches jungle proportions; disposing of the skunks (yes, that's plural) that my dogs have been warring with; chasing a toddler through mosquito infested jungle-grass; and like always, click-clacking away at the computer.

I finally finished my latest story. It took a long time, mostly due to life, but I kept at it and I'm happy with the finished result. It is titled MY PATIENT GRAVE and weighs in at about 8,700 words.

Jamie is particularly good at flash fiction, but I stink at it. I've done a few, but they're not that great. There is nothing wrong with longer works, it's just that I find them harder to place. Most paying markets now a days want something a bit more streamlined. Just my own observation there.

As I put the finishing touches on MY PATIENT GRAVE, I started having one of those identity crises I've been reading so much about.

What I mean is, I mostly consider myself a horror writer. I'm an affiliate member of the HWA. I don't really like the tag, but it seems a necessary evil. But MPG isn't really a horror story. It's dark. It's a little sad. It even has my trademark weirdness to it. But it's not horror. To be honest, I don't know what it is. Dark Fiction, I guess.

And now I'm rolling my next novel around. The characters, the setting, the skeleton of plot is all there. But what I can't decide is if this will be an adult novel or a young adult novel. Most of my work is dark, twisted and not for children -- which is kind of funny seeing as how I'm a Sunday school teacher (whoops, I let the cat out of the bag).

Here is how I see it. Stephen King is one of the greats. Even if you don't like his work, you have to at least give me that he was built to write. So, what raises him above other horror writers?

I think it's because he's not really a horror writer. I think he writes literary novels (whatever that means) that are infused with the fantastic. Every story of his that I've ever read were never about the "creature". It was about people living and breathing in strange times.

I'll give one example -- there are many to choose from.

Let's look at his novel CELL. When you break it down to its most basic, it's not about the strange signal coming through the cell phones. It's about a man trying to find and protect his son during a dangerous time. This is pretty much the theme of Cormac McCarthy's THE ROAD. It just so happens that Stephen King's CELL is filled with crazy telekinetic zombies.

My point is that at the heart of King's stories it's more about people coping with tragedy than with the monsters.

This is just my opinion. I am far from a die-hard King fan and I don't claim to have read all of his work. This is just based on the things I HAVE read. I think the same could be said of all the great genre writers, though.

This is the type of story I want to write. If you strip away the horrific and fantastic, the magic and monsters, at the heart you still have a pretty good story.

This is what I'm hoping an agent then publisher then reader will find in my novel GUARDING THE HEALER. Sure it's full of angels and demons, killers and healers, but really, it's about a man trying to deal with a great tragedy, find his place in a world he doesn't understand, and help redeem a friend going down the wrong path.

Jamie touches on this same thought here. I swear I didn't read his post until after I'd written mine (I'm not above stealing topics, though). Great minds and all, but I think his is more coherent. He IS a college grad . . . not that I'm jealous or anything.

Good Liars Make Great Writers

Oh, man. I tell you what. I must be getting a lesson in patience. Just when I get this 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. shift down, they go and change it on me. I was just getting used to writing in the morning, too. Now I'm doing 8 a.m. to 7 p.m. four days a week. It sounds good on the surface, but it's hard with the kids to get much writing done on the weekends and writing that extra day off during the week isn't going to get me very far. I may have to start night-writing again. Hey! I could be the Night Writer. I like that. Maybe my computer could have a light that flashes back and forth and talk to me in a droll voice.

Sorry. Went off on a tangent there.

Anyway, Mercedes, bless her to pieces, must have realized I needed another distraction so she tagged me and I'm bound by blogger-code to obey. So on with the lies.

“Sometimes you can learn more about a person by what they don’t tell you. Sometimes you can learn a lot from the things they just make up. If you are tagged with this Meme, lie to me. Then tag 7 other folks (one for each deadly sin) and hope they can lie.”

Pride: What is your biggest contribution to the world?
Killing off the dinosaurs so that they'd stop using us for entrees.

Envy: What do your coworkers wish they had which is yours?
It's either my tall, well toned body or my long, curly locks of hair.

Gluttony: What did you eat last night?
Some left-over T-rex (see pride).

Lust: What really lights your fire?
I always liked that sorceress chick from the Thundar the Barbarian cartoon.

Anger: What is the last thing that really pissed you off?
Not being able to get all my hundreds in my wallet.

Greed: Name something you keep from others.
I never share my underwear. Sorry, no matter how much you beg, those babies are mine.

Sloth: What’s the laziest thing you’ve ever done?
Once, when I was walking with Big Foot, he made his business and I just left it. Sorry, my baggies weren't big enough.

Now, I guess I should tag someone. I choose, in no certain order:
Jennifer Brozek, Joshua Reynolds, Cheryl Reif, Jim Cooney . . . uhm, sorry, that's all I got. Everyone else has either done it or is an agent and I'm not going there.

I'm Still Here . . . Somewhere

I'm sorry that I've been a bit distant of late. There have been a few changes in my life that have left me feeling a bit . . . cluttered.

As I've mentioned in earlier posts, my job was dissolved (I just love that word. Bring all sorts of images to mind!) back in March. I am now getting settled into my new position and the new shift. I was working 7:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., Monday through Friday. It was a good shift. I would come home, do some writing before the wife and kids got home, maybe do some work around the house. Now, I go in at 10:00 a.m. and get home a little after 7:00 p.m.

It's a real bummer. I am now a morning writer. I'm not an early-to-rise kind of guy. I'm mostly on auto-pilot. I get up, help see my wife and kids off, then sit down and get as many words down as I can before I have to trudge off to work. This way it frees up my after-work hours for the most important thing of all: family time.

The downside, however, is that this leaves me very little time to do blog posts.

I would like to answer a couple of fellow bloggers who have reached out to me lately.

First is Mercedes. She asked about my partials that are lingering with agents. The answer . . . I'm batting 500. The agent that has my full manuscript still hasn't replied to me. Today is 14 weeks that he has had it. I'm not sure if that's good or bad, but as of right now, it's not a rejection. The agent that asked for the first five pages passed on my novel. I was a little disappointed, but it was a minor wound. Again, I'm happy she liked my query well enough to follow up.

Second is Chris, who by the way is mostly responsible for the success of my query letter. He took me under his wing and pointed me in the right direction. Chris tagged me with the "four-thing meme" and who am I to resist?

Here we go:

4 movies you would watch over and over again:
Die Hard
An American Werewolf in London
The Shawshank Redemption
The Terminator

4 places you have lived:
in a low income apartment
in a farmhouse sans the farm
in another apartment (not low income)
the house I'm in now
(boring, I know, but I'm a deep rooted Hoosier and never moved far from home)

NOW WITH BONUS! 4 places you have lived (fiction edition):
Belmount
The Dark Tower
an Earth peopled with vampires, save one
Middle Earth

4 TV shows you love to watch:
Simpsons
The Office
World's Deadliest Warrior
Family Guy

4 places you have been on vacation:
Clearwater, FL
Gatlinburg, TN
Nashville, TN
Red Lake, Ontario

4 of your favorite foods:
steak
fried chicken
pork chops
strawberries

4 web sites you visit daily:
my wife's blog (sorry, no link, it's private)
AgentQuery
Wildside Press
HWA

4 places you would rather be right now:
in bed sleeping (it IS 3:00 in the morning)
somewhere warm and sunny, playing with my kids
camping
fishing

4 things you'd like to do before you die:
See a novel through to publication
Make a living as a writer (I stole both of these from Chris)
Visit all 50 states
Learn to fly (I mean like Superman does)

4 books you wish you could read again for the first time:
An Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice
Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz
The Road by Cormac McCarthy
The Wasteland by Stephen King

Tag 4 people you think will respond:
Jamie Eyeberg
Catherine Gardner
Samantha Sterner
Jennifer Hudson Taylor

A Well Deserved Thank You

I would like to start out this post by giving a heart-felt thank you to all the American soldiers, past and present, on this Memorial Day. Whether it is peace or wartime, to wear the uniform means a willingness to separate yourself from friends and loved ones, and despite the agenda, to simply go where needed, and sacrifice all that we might continue to be free. Freedom is, and never will be, free. Thank you for paying the price for me.

In writing news, I have had another agent request a partial of my novel. Not a large partial, mind you, but that does mean she at least liked my query letter. Today won't be very productive as far as writing goes. I have the day off, but my wife still has to work. So, I'm spending the day chasing diaper-dwarves, and later I have to go to a birthday party. I HAVE to go because it's my party. I'm 32 today, and everyone will be upset if they can't tell me how OLD I'm getting.

I just love that part.

Happy Memorial Day.

An Invitation to the Dance

I received a nice little email this afternoon.

The lovely Jennifer Brozek (the new submissions editor at Apex and chief editor of The Edge of Propinquity) sent me an invitation to submit a story for the upcoming anthology CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE URBAN KIND.

Maybe this happens all the time to other writers, and maybe this same invitation was sent out to 100,000 other writers, but it's a first for me, so don't spoil it. Also, don't think me foolish. I understand that an invite isn't a guaranteed acceptance.

The Day Job has been a bog of depression. I'm getting a rush training for my new position, and I'm not all that thrilled (but as they say these days "at least I HAVE a job"), so this invitation was a bright beam of sunlight through a thick canopy of black clouds.

As any writer knows, it's lonely out there. So when someone reaches out and actually ASKS you to write something . . . I mean, wow! Give me a computer; a crayon and some paper; a chunk of stone and a chisel; something quick!

I have until September 1st to turn something in, but I'm already sifting through ideas. As soon as I'm done with the current WIP, I'll be on it like gnats on a dog's . . . sorry, bad Indiana analogy.

Agent update:

It's going on six weeks that my full manuscript has been in the hands of a certain agent. The suspense is killing me, but to be honest, I'm a little afraid to get a response. Right now I'm holding onto the old adage "no news is good news", and I'm praying that things will go my way.

Big Changes

I really wanted to have a good April Fool's joke for all of you, but I'm sorry to say, I'm drawing a blank.

As you all can see I've given the ol' blog a much needed overhaul. There will be some more changes on the way, but right now I'm too tired to do much more.

Let me know what you all think.

Will Write For Food

So, I've become a statistic.

I'll give you a minute to ponder that. Go ahead, I'll wait. There, are you done? What did you come up with? No, no, nothing so sorted.

I was talking about my job. You should really watch where your mind wanders.

Yes, alas, it's true. The Krakens of Corporate Sheol have decided to "dissolve" my position with the company. Now, before you get all weepy for me, I still have a job. They are stuffing me into another department. It's not terrible, but it's not good, either. I feel a bit like Milton from the movie Office Space.

One, I don't handle change very well. Two, my work hours will be going from good to bad, so I'm not yet sure how this will affect my writing. I'll still write, it's just going to be a bit more difficult for me.

Unless I land that six figure book deal that I've been dreaming about. That really does happen to writers, right? Most of the time, no, you say. Crap!

Maybe I can go stand by the freeway with a sign that reads, "Will Write For Food."

That's a First!

So, there I was at work (trying to look like I was working) when I noticed an email pop up. I glanced at the description balloon and saw that it was a response to one of my agent queries.

No big deal. I'd received one just a few hours earlier . . . a rejection, mind you. Again, no big deal. But something caught my eye. A strange phrase that I had yet to see in an agent's response. I couldn't be sure, but I could have sworn that I saw the word "interested".

Trying my best -- and failing -- not to get my hopes up, I opened the email. And there it was. Something that turned my good day into great day.

I have received my first official manuscript request by a literary agent.

Now, I know that this means nothing. It could still end in a rejection if my writing doesn't register with him. But it still feels good to know I'm doing something right for a change.

Now I'm off to put the boy to bed and then it'll be a late night of submitting my manuscript and synopsis.

I'll let you know how it turns out.

Beware the Mask

I am very happy to announce that my story THE MASK OF DESLOW MANSION is now available in volume 38 of The Edge of Propinquity. Stop by, have a look, but please don't judge me on the head shot. I'm just not very photogenic.

I would like to thank Jennifer Brozek for allowing me to be this month's guest author.

Not Sure How I Feel About This

I found something interesting on Cheryl Reifsnyder's blog today. It's called Authonomy. It is a fascinating idea, but I'm not sure I'm sold on it.

Go check it out. Tell me what you all think.

Happy B-Day Mr. Poe

I was perusing blogs (I should've been writing) when I came across an interesting fact on Joshua M. Reynolds' blog, Hunting Monsters. Today is Edgar Allen Poe's 200th birthday.

It seems as good a thing as any to blog about, so I'm going to give my own tribute to the tortured soul by sharing a story (boring as it may be) about finding a treasure in the oddest of places.

So, there I was at work, just trying to get through another day. I am one of a handful of people in the office that has a key to the "records room". This room is the catch-all of the building and somehow I'm lucky enough to hold the key to everyone else's junk.

I know you're jealous.

Anyway, I was back in said room on said day, when I noticed a large cardboard box. I can't say what drew me to this particular box. There are dozens filling the room. I go to the box and open it up. To my delight, it is filled with old books. Being a writer and all around lover of books, I tucked it away and went in search of its owner.

A very nice man, named Glenn, was the owner and it was then that I learned Glenn was a book collector. His storage unit (that's right STORAGE UNIT) was too full of books so he stashed the box in the records room for later inspection.

To my surprise, with very little coaxing at all, Glenn says, "I have plenty of books. You're welcome to take any that you want." So, like a giddy little leprechaun sneaking off with a pot of gold, I put the box in my truck and took them home.

Now, all of the books were old, but not many were that interesting. There was an old dictionary, some old turn of the century prairie books, but there were a few gems in the mix. Though they were not in good condition, I found a copy of THE THREE MUSKETEERS and UNCLE TOM'S CABIN. Then I pulled out . . . TALES OF ROMANCE AND FANTASY by Edgar Allen Poe.

Now, it's not in great condition, but considering the publication date is 1894, I'd say it's in good condition.

The pages are browned, and just a bit brittle. There are a few smudges and tears. But every time I look through it I can't help but wonder what all has this book seen in its 115 years? What famous hands might have turned the pages?

So, happy 200th birthday Mr. Poe. Thanks for the book. I would have liked an autograph, but what am I gonna do?


P.S.

On a completely side note.

Jim over on Ink & Beans asked if I would post a description of my novel GUARDING THE HEALER. Now, call me paranoid, call me superstitious, but I have a bit of trouble talking about my writing if it hasn't yet been published. This may be silly, but it's still true.

I'm still seeking an agent for GUARDING THE HEALER, but I was thinking about posting the pitch I've been using in my query letter.

What I need is opinions. Do you think this is good? Bad? Should I spread the premise of my novel to the world even though it has yet to be accepted by agent or editor? Or is my paranoia justified?

What do you all think?

A Wee Over 85

Stolen from Cate.

Supposedly if you’ve seen more than 85 of these films, you have no life. Mark the ones you’ve seen. There are 239 films on this list. Copy this list, then put x’s next to the films you’ve seen, and add them up.

(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man’s Chest
() Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
(x) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane
(x) The Princess Bride
(x) Anchorman
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth
(x) Saw
() Saw II
(x) White Noise
() White Oleander
(x) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
() The Princess Diaries
() The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
(x) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
(x) Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
(x) American Wedding
() American Pie Band Camp
(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
() Resident Evil 1
() Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
() Little Black Book
(x) The Village
() Lilo & Stitch
(x) Finding Nemo
() Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
(x) White Chicks
() Butterfly Effect
() 13 Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
() Robots

Total so far: 39

(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(x) Universal Soldier
() Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
() Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
(x) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
() Eight Crazy Nights
(x) Joe Dirt
() KING KONG

Total so far: 47

() A Cinderella Story
() The Terminal
() The Lizzie McGuire Movie
() Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
(x) Dumber & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
() Final Destination 2
() Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
() The Ring 2
(x) Surviving X-MAS
() Flubber

Total so far: 53

(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
() Chicago
(x) Ghost Ship
() From Hell
(x) Hellboy
(x) Secret Window
() I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards
(x) The Whole Ten YardsTotal so far: 60
(x) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child’s Play
() Seed of Chucky
() Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
(x) Just Married
(x) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
() Coach Carter
(x) The Grudge
() The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
() Son Of The Mask

Total so far: 70

(x) Bad Boys
(x) Bad Boys 2
() Joy Ride
() Lucky Number Slevin
() Ocean’s Eleven
() Ocean’s Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
() Bourne Supremecy
() Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
(x) Predator II
(x) The Fog
() Ice Age
() Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
() Curious George

Total so far:77

(x) Cujo
() A Bronx Tale
(x) Darkness Falls
(x) Christine
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
() My Bosses Daughter
() Maid in Manhattan
(x) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2

Total so far: 85

() Best Bet
() How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She’s All That
() Calendar Girls
() Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
(x) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3

Total so far: 95

(x) X-Men
(x) X-2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
() Sky High
(x) Jeepers Creepers
() Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
() Freaky Friday
(x) Reign of Fire
(x) The Skulls
(x) Cruel Intentions
() Cruel Intentions 2
(x) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2

Total so far: 109

() Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th street
(x) Old School
() The Notebook
(x) K-Pax
() Krippendorf’s Tribe
() A Walk to Remember
() Ice Castles
() Boogeyman
(x) The 40-year-old Virgin

Total so far: 113

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Total so far: 119

() Basketball
() Hostel
() Waiting for Guffman
(x) House of 1000 Corpses
() Devils Rejects
(x) Elf
(x) Highlander
(x) Mothman Prophecies
(x) American History X
() Three

Total so far: 124

(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
() Shaun Of the Dead
() Willard

Total so far: 126

() High Tension
(x) Club Dread
(x) Hulk
(x) Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
(x) Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(x) 28 days later
() Orgazmo
(x) Phantasm
(x) Waterworld

Total so far: 134

() Kill Bill vol 1
() Kill Bill vol 2
(x) Mortal Kombat
() Wolf Creek
() Kingdom of Heaven
(x) the Hills Have Eyes
() I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
() The Last House on the Left
() Re-Animator
(x) Army of Darkness

Total so far: 137

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
() Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
() Ewoks The Battle For Endor

Total so far: 143

(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
() Animatrix
(x) Evil Dead
(x) Evil Dead 2
() Team America: World Police
(x) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
() Hannibal

Total: 150


That's a lot of time I could/should have been reading and writing, but what can I do? I'm a boob-tube baby.

My End of the Year Post

Here we are again. Another year gone, and that time when we all evaluate what we've accomplished.

I took a look at my post from a year ago and it only depressed me. The year of 2008 wasn't my best writing-wise. I'm still waiting for ROMEO'S KISS to appear in Wildside Press's Cat Tales. I only sold one story -- THE MASK OF DESLOW MANSION to The Edge of Propinquity. But I did finish rewriting my novel and after an exhausting research venture, started sending the poor thing out to agents. No bites as of yet, but some nice rejections have crossed my desk. I did manage to consistently post on this blog, and I've made a lot of new writer friends which have helped me grow (as good friends do).

So, what are my plans, resolutions as it were, for 2009? Well, faithful reader, I will tell you. I'm going to continue to push my novel on every agent until one either signs me, or they band together and hire someone to stop me. I'm going to continue writing as best I can. I don't know right now if 2009 will belong to short stories, novels, or just my own wailing on this blog. I plan on reading more, writing more, praying more, laughing more, and loving more. What else better is there to do?

Now, as I leave you until the breaking of the new year, I thought I would show you the best thing I've received in 2008 (which is also what has caused my writing to diminish at such a rate).

Meet Olivia Ann. That's big brother Aiden (the best thing I received in 2007) doing all the kissing.

Not Much a Goin'

Not much happening here right now.

I'm still waiting to hear back from eight agents. If I don't get any hits then I have another ten to fifteen lined up for the next round.

I just sent my story A WHITE ROOM & TIME to the anthology Clockwork Phoenix 2. I can't seem to find a response time listed for that publication, but it's supposed to be out around July 2009, so I guess I'll know sometime before then.

I'm working on another short story, one that's been rolling around in my warped little noodle for some time. I don't know how long it'll be, yet--I'm only 1,000 words in--but I'm feeling good about the flow. It's a first person POV, which is hard for me. THE BARN was the only other first person POV that I've written that I felt was worth anything. I won't tell you what it's about, but my working title is THE SHALLOW GRAVE.

Not that original. I'll try to come up with something better when it's done.

You Think YOU Had to Wait a Long Time

I received a letter today from the editor of Outer Darkness magazine, Dennis Kirk, that my story, LOVE, OBSESSION & THE DEEP FREEZE, is still going to appear in issue 37.

Now, as writers we all know how hard it is to send out a story, wait months upon months only to get a form rejection. But it makes the acceptances all the more sweet, does it not? Then comes the agonizing time between acceptance and publication. That time period where you cut a path walking back and forth to the mailbox, or you click on an ezine's homepage so many times a day that surly you should win a door prize.

L, O & THE DF has already been published in Midnight Times, but that doesn't mean I'm any less pumped to see it in print again. So, for those of you that think YOU have trudged a long road between acceptance and publication, let me give you a little back ground information.

I submitted L, O & THE DF to Outer Darkness Magazine on 12/06/2004. It was accepted 12/19/2005, and will be appearing in OD sometime in the spring of 2009.

Is four years the record? Oh, I highly doubt it, but it has to be up there somewhere close.

On a side note I would like to say that I am in no way angry or begrudge Dennis Kirk for the long wait. Life has a way of stepping in front of our writing duties and when it does we have no choice but to yield. He has had a full plate, and I think he did right by taking care of Life's tasks instead of the magazine. I'm glad to see that he's able to press on.

Ouch!

It came Friday in the mail. My first letter from an agent.

I'd love to tell you all that the letter was full of praise for my novel along with an offer for representation, but alas, that would be a lie.

It was a rejection . . . a form letter at that.

I knew rejections were coming. Lord knows I've racked up enough of them with my short story submissions. I thought my skin was thick, but man did it hurt to read. I'm still a bit sore.

I have a few more queries floating around out there, but this agent was my top choice. Maybe that's why it hurts so much. I was hoping to at least send in a partial manuscript before being rejected.

It's terribly overwhelming. I now see why writers jump on the first agent (good or bad) that gives them a yes. I mean, how do you know if you REALLY match with an agent or not. Not very many have blogs to follow and a surprising number don't even have websites.

Don't mind me. The pity party is just about over.

I was going to work on fixing a short story I've had tucked away, and I have another one begging to be typed out, but I'm afraid both will have to wait. With the two diaper-dwarves haunting this house, finding time to do writerly-things has become very limited. I need to do a bit more searching. See if any agents (and their limited info) reach out and grab me . . . figuratively, of course.

Cat Tales

Wildside Press's anthology CAT TALES #1 is now in stock.

My story ROMEO'S KISS is not in this book, but will hopefully be in #2. If you recall from earlier posts there is a chance that if the sales for #1 are low then there will be no #2. So pick up your copy today.

If you like cats and you like speculative fiction then you'll love this book. Here is the TOC:

NOT ANOTHER BLACK CAT STORY, by Geoffrey Maloney
SCOUT, by Mary A. Turzillo
AMERICAN CURLS, by Nancy Springer
THE CATS OF ULTHAR, by H.P. Lovecraft
KREATIVITY FOR KATS, by Fritz Leiber
NON-EXISTENT CATS, by Tony Richards
ANGELIQUE'S, by Sandra Beswetherick
THREE HAIKU, by Mark Budman
THE CAT, by Charles Baudelaire
BLACK PUMPS & A SKANKY TOM, by Pat Edsen
DRAGON DREAMS, by Shereen Vedam
CAT CALL, by K.D. Wentworth
A CHRISTMAS CAROL, by Jack Williamson
THE EYES OF RA, by Jim C. Hines

CREEPER SHADOWS, by Fred Chappell

Ramblings of the Sleep Deprived

I told you I would do it. I dug down deep, found three more agents that I liked and sent them each a query letter. So that’s a total of four (just in case you’re two years old or tragically behind in your math skills). I suddenly have the urge to laugh like the Count from Sesame Street.

Sorry. I’m very sleepy.

I’m going to give it a few days, maybe a week, then try to find four more agents that I like. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that one of my top choices requests a partial. But it couldn’t hurt to have some more options lined up in the event that I’m pelted with four fast rejections.

Wow. My stress level just tripled.

Anyway, all joking aside, I’m actually feeling good about this point in my writing career. It’s a lot like when I first sent my short stories out to editors. I got a lot of rejections before I landed my first publication, and that very well might happen with my search for an agent. But I’m not languishing in fear. I’m not hiding from the world. It feels great taking the next step. I’m glad to be moving on. But before I do:

One . . . two . . . three . . . four. Four . . . four agents. Ah, ah, ah!

Again, sorry. I couldn’t help it.

And It Begins

It's done. No more procrastinating. No more obsessive rewrites. It's in the mail and I can't get it back.

I have just returned from the post office, where I have finally sent my novel (technically just a query letter, short synopsis, and the first five pages) GUARDING THE HEALER to my top choice agent.

Yeah, I know. I should send my novel to more than one agent, and I will. Sending to the one was stressful enough. I'll get to the others in a few days.

But now it begins. A whole new level of stress and agony. Days and nights where I check my inbox with OCD fervor. And I thought the stress of submitting my short stories was bad.

So, after all this time, I'm taking the plunge. I'll let you all know when I touch down.

Someone Loves My Blog

You like me! You really like me!

I would like to thank Jamie Eyberg for nominating me. So now I must share the love.

Here are the rules:

1) Add the logo of your award to your blog.
2) Add a link to the person who awarded it to you.
3) Nominate at least seven other blogs.
4) Add links to those blogs on your blogs.
5) Leave a message for your nominees on their blogs.

Let's see. I nominate . . .

Chris F. Holm is a scientist by day, writer by night. He's got the goods. Plus, he cracks me up.
Jennifer Jackson is an agent at the Donald Maass Literary Agency. If you want to get into the mind of an agent, this is the blog for you.
Janet Reid is the Query Shark. Submit at your own risk. If you're struggling with the query letter and you want to know what NOT to do, take a look. It's also good if you need a quick laugh at someone else's expense.
Jennifer Brozek is the editor of The Edge of Propinquity ezine. He blog is visually sharp and clean. She is a lady with a lot going on. I get stressed just READING about her daily chores.
Kameron Hurley is someone I just recently stumbled across, and I'm glad I did. She has a great voice, a warped take on life (in a good way) and is too young to have to watch her pizza intake.
Jamie Eyberg is getting another one (and not just because he sent me mine). He's a writer of all trades, a man that likes to work with his hands, and his blog is great to read. Makes me want to visit Iowa.
Last and certainly not least is Catherine Gardner. I know, I know. She's been given like a hundred of these, but that should make you sit up and wonder what all the fuss is about. Go on. Check out her blog. I promise I won't get jealous (well, maybe just a little).

On a side note. I was going to nominate my wife's blog. Let me tell you a bit about this lady. She's strong, but lets me baby her. She's smart, but she tries to tell me I'm smarter. She's independent, and dependable. Beautiful, but not vain. And when she laughs her nostril flare in a way that makes me want to kiss her. She does do some writing but keeps it to herself. Her blog is about her journey through life. Sometimes it's funny. Sometimes it's heartbreaking. I would have nominated her and put a link up, but she asked me not to. But she didn't say I couldn't tell you all a little about her.

The Most Wonderful Distraction Ever

On Tuesday, September the 9th, 2008 at 7:31 a.m. (EST), I received the most wonderful distraction to my writing that I could ever want. My beautiful daughter made her grand entrance into the world, weighing in at 7 pounds, 13 ounces.

Trying to adjust my writing schedule to fit the needs of my son (who just turned 18 months) has been a nice learning experience. Now that I have two in diapers, life will be nothing if not interesting.

I'm very happy to be a father (there was a time I wasn't sure that I could be a father, but that's a different story). My family is the greatest treasure I have. I know that life is a bullet train with no stops. That's why I try to look out the window as often as possible.

I'll just keep on writing the ten to midnight shift. You'll not hear me complain.

TEoP

Last night I receive an email from Jennifer Brozek, editor of The Edge of Propinquity. A few weeks ago I had received an email from Jennifer stating that my story "The Mask of Deslow Mansion" had made it through the first round of readings. Of course I was happy for that good news, and have been waiting with faux-patience for the follow up letter.

I’m in danger of getting off topic here, so I’ll try to keep it simple. Back to the email from last night.

When I saw it come up in my inbox I was just happy that it wasn’t spam. That’s all I seem to get these days. It took me a few minutes to open it, as it always does when I’m opening letters from editors. It started out like this:

"Unlike every other one of my story submissions, you do not get a form letter response."

Ah oh, I thought. It’s a rejection. But at least it was going to be a nice rejection. The kind that come with advice or admonishment. The kind that are like nice girls, who after you hit on them, explain to you why they aren’t going to give you their number, and somehow make you feel all right about it.

I’m not saying that’s ever happened to me (not the being rejected part, the feeling all right about it part) but I’ve heard stories.

Anyway, I forged on through the email. It takes me a second to absorb what I’m reading. I’ve told you before, I’m preternaturally thickheaded. The words are all in English. I just have to wait for my brain to put them in order. When the ol’ gray matter finally kicks in and I see the sentence that follows, this is what I read:

"Rather than keep you in suspense, the short version is: I want this story."

I just love acceptance letters. Love ‘em! Like a fat kid loves cake.

Sorry. I’ll be all right.

"The Mask of Deslow Mansion" is slated to be in either the January or February volume of The Edge of Propinquity.

I can’t wait.

Where is 44 & 51?

All is quiet in the World According to Gabe. The Mask of Deslow Mansion has made it through a first-round reading at a particular publication, and now I’m just doing what I always do . . . wait with a side of more wait.

I have no new projects on the burner due to my obsession with perfecting my first novel, Guarding the Healer, before sending it out to agents. I have my query letter and my short one-page synopsis written. Right now I am systematically polishing ten pages of the novel a day--most days anyhow--while writing my long synopsis (a.k.a. the dreaded outline). It’s rough going since the only good time I have to work is from around 10:00 p.m. to around 1:00 a.m.

But, hey, sleep is overrated, right? Plus, as I’ve mentioned before, the hallucinations from sleep deprivation make great writing fodder.

So, to make up for my short and pointless post, here is a neat little item that I stole from Catherine J. Gardner.

The Big Read, an initiative by the National Endowment for the Arts, has estimated that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they’ve printed. How do you do?

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
*
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
*
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

* Numbers 44 & 51 seem to be missing for some reason. I tried to track them down, but was unsuccessful.

Milk Duds On My Desk

I’m sorry to report that my story "The Mask of Deslow Mansion" will not be appearing in Graveside Tales’ anthology Harvest Hill.

Though they liked the story, it just didn’t fit well with the group. I always did have trouble playing with others.

Oh well, back to submitting. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be all right. The box of Milk Duds sitting on my desk is helping.

Congratulations to all who find themselves between the covers of Harvest Hill. I’m sure it will be a great read.

A Site for Sore Eyes

It’s getting down to the wire now. Any day I should be hearing if Graveside Tales is keeping "The Mask of Deslow Mansion" or tossing it to the side like a dirty diaper.

Sorry for the simile. I’ve been changing a lot of diapers lately.

I’ve been on mandatory overtime at work and haven’t had much time to devote to writing, so there isn’t much to report right now. So, instead of some whimsical anecdote or poetic prose, I’ll share with you some nice new (new for me, that is) websites that I’ve come across over the last few weeks.

http://fright-fest.blogspot.com/
Catherine J. Gardner is the author of this blog (along with an impressive number of short stories and novels). The layout of this blog is as beautiful as the content is insightful. Catherine is charming and funny, and is one of the busiest writers I have ever seen. I am envious of the amount of writing she is pumping out on a regular basis, and in awe that she has time to keep her blog as updated as she has.

http://www.chrisfholm.com/index.html
Chris F. Holm is a young writer with a sharp wit and warped sense of humor (much like yours truly). Many of his experiences and thoughts on writing mirror my own, and though I have yet to make contact with him – I barely have time to make contact with my own mother – I hope to soon. He seems to me a man of like precious faith . . . as far as writing goes, that is.

http://queryshark.blogspot.com/
Janet Reid is a successful literary agent by day and the infamous Query Shark by night. She shows no mercy to the chum that floats her way. If you are looking to strengthen you query letter or maybe just need to grab a laugh at the competition’s expense, I suggest you stop by.

http://arcaedia.livejournal.com/
Jennifer Jackson is a literary agent with the Donald Maass Literary Agency, and is the agent of the afore mention Chris F. Holm. Jennifer is smart and fiery, delivering matter of fact information with a punch. She is a beautifully clear window into the scary and mysterious world of publishing.

None of the four above know me (well, Catherine and I have had a bit of correspondence, but not much). I’ve learned from all four people and feel that any aspiring writer could do a lot worse than stumbling across these gems. When I get a bit more time, I will try to add these to my links.

Go check them out. You won’t be disappointed.